My client came to me since she keeps losing her temper with her seven years old son. My client knows she is scarring her boy for life, but she just can’t control her rage, whenever he is being cruel or does unjust things to his little sister.
The recent trigger was, her kids were brushing their teeth. She was in her room, dressing up to go for dinner with a friend. Her son, who is a year and a half older than his sister, was forcing the girl off the bathroom stool. The girl was complaining and crying, since she couldn’t get to the sink.
My client experienced her anger going up, and up like an RPM meter in a racing car. From the bedroom, she asked the boy to share the step stool. He kept being unkind to his sister. The mom couldn’t restrain her temper anymore. She stormed into the bathroom like a wounded beast, and screamed at her boy from the top of her lungs, until he burst into tears, horrified.
Under hypnosis she went back to a childhood scene. She and her siblings were playing in the living room, making some noise. Her Dad came home drunk. He started arguing with the mom not disciplining the children, and it escalated to him beating her up. Badly. He then yelled at the kids to be quiet. All his children were terrified of his rage, and felt powerless witnessing his aggression towards their mom. He never lied a hand on them as his meek wife was his main target.
My client grew up resenting her mom’s submissive femininity, so she subconsciously chose to act from her masculine side. She married a feminine guy. She was the bread winner in the household, and she was also the disciplinarian. Instead of copying the same gender, i.e. her mother, my client copied her Dad. This included, his temper tantrums. Bingo!
This is a typical generational transference. This is how we injure our own off springs, in the exact same way that we hated, when it was done to us.
It was an emotional session. My client could see the heavy prices she pays, acting out of her masculinity. She suffered both as a parent and as a wife.
We healed and integrated the wounded inner child.
I checked on her a week later. “How are you feeling and doing?” I asked.
“Well, last night there was a similar scene when they brushed their teeth. I could overhear it from my room. I felt a little annoyed but decided to let them resolve it on their own. I regained my peace” she shared.
